Atem has been waiting for a proper duel since Kaiba found his way to the afterlife.
What he has not accounted for is that Kaiba has, in the meantime, become unbearably good-looking.
Three attempts. Three failures to draw a card.
By the third, Kaiba has worked out the cause, and has decided that if he is the one dismantling Atem's reason, he will finish the job himself.
This is a translation of an original work on Pixiv.
Original Title: 感覚の融解
Original Author: 葉人(@Hathor₋yuki)
Personal site: https://prideshipping.sakura.ne.jp
His rival had come all the way to the afterlife, and he had not been able to fight him.
His eyes were damp. He covered his reddened cheeks with one hand and let out a thin, long breath.
"Why… why did it turn out like that…"
There was no one to answer.
Atem caught the Duel Disk Seto tossed to him.
"Build your deck. Call for me when you're ready. We start immediately."
Greetings barely finished, Seto had gone straight to proposing a duel.
Seeing him again after so long, he looked unchanged and yet entirely different.
No stakes, a fight for the sake of the fight alone. His heart leapt at it.
Suppressing the quickening beat, he fastened the Duel Disk to his left arm.
"Understood. I'll have you shown to the great hall. Sit and wait there. I'll come as soon as my deck is built."
Atem left the throne room and sat down somewhere quiet.
He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. Deep in his chest, the image of Seto still hung like an afterimage.
The clean lines of his face, his height — unchanged.
Perhaps it was his expression that had changed. The strength of his gaze was the same, but there was something at ease about it now.
But this was not the time to be swallowed by feeling.
That rival was not a man to go easy on him for having been away. He always came to crush an opponent with everything he had.
Recover his composure before he went back. Then bring the fighting spirit to a boil. That was the first step toward victory.
"I cannot afford to be shaken."
He murmured it, watched the cards come up on the display, and began to build.
Some he knew. Others had been added since.
Eyes closed, he ran it all through his head: the sequence of a duel, the tactics, every reading he could make. Which cards Seto would play, at what moment his expression would shift — he pulled up the old patterns.
And he analyzed his own psychology as well.
"If I show impatience, he will use it. Without fail."
There was no gap in their ability.
And Seto was a man who never missed a moment's wavering. Even his current feelings would have to be turned into the next move.
Atem drove his thinking deeper.
Purity was his strength. It was also his weakness.
He opened his eyes. The fingertips selecting cards trembled faintly, and he turned that, too, into force.
He put what was deep in his heart into words, and swore it quietly.
"Right now, it is time to face Kaiba."
His thinking was cool. But the heat deep in his chest was real, and it would not be ignored.
The feeling that had risen at the sight of Seto. That would have to become part of the strategy as well.
Atem drew a deep breath and stood again.
Whatever expression Seto wore going into the duel, he would not be moved. Carving that into himself, he finished his preparations and went quietly to the great hall.
And all of that resolve shattered to nothing. Standing face to face with the man for real, his body would not move.
"I'll grant you the first turn. You've been out of practice."
"Right… my……"
His turn. On the first turn, you draw a card.
He understood that perfectly well, and his right arm would not rise.
"…Atem?"
No words came. His body would not move. He could not even shift his gaze. Atem's eyes had stopped, locked on Seto's.
He could not answer the puzzled voice either.
"What is it. It's your turn."
"…Ah… ahh……"
He was too close. That was the problem. A little distance, then. He thought so and took a step, and his right hand and right foot went forward together.
"There's nothing left to be concerned about at this point. What are you hesitating over."
He wanted to raise the Duel Disk, and his arm would not lift.
Only his eyes moved — fixed slightly upward, riveted to Seto's face.
"Am I… am I unable to fight…?"
"What are you talking about."
At the utter bewilderment in Atem's face, Seto let out a heavy sigh.
"…Whatever stray thoughts are interfering with the match, get rid of them before next time."
Judging from Atem's unforeseen jitteriness that this was not going to be a game, Seto made a firm point of the next appointment and left.
What exactly he had said, Atem could not remember precisely.
What remained before his eyes was Seto as he had just been. The clean outline, the light held in his eyes, the grace that moved with him.
Yes — meeting Seto after so long, faced with just how much the man's presence had risen, with that beauty, Atem had fallen not at first sight but at some sight he had long since lost count of.
"…Why did it turn out like that…"
His focus would not settle. His breath caught.
His head spun in circles, and the sequence of the duel, the strategy, all of it went out of him.
His body shook; his heart leapt, hot.
His reason understood. Seto was his rival, and also the one who ought to be dealt with first.
But the voice of reason was drowned out by the turmoil in his chest.
Atem pressed his lips together and drew in a deep breath.
Calm down, he repeated inside his head, over and over. Without sorting out his own feelings, he could not make even the next move.
The moment Seto had said "I'll come again" and left, a small restlessness was born deep in his chest.
He wanted to act, to run after him this instant. But if he did, he would only be back in that completely incomprehensible state.
Atem let his shoulders drop a little.
"…I'll wait. He will come again. Nothing changes by rushing."
There was a next appointment.
He closed his eyes and tried to settle his heart.
Time to sort out his own feelings, even while holding the thought of Seto.
How to move when they met next. What words to give back.
Conserve everything, observe coolly, prepare. For now, doing that much was enough.
Feeling the still-heated emotion burning quietly deep in his chest, Atem took a step forward.
Without haste, without wavering. For the moment that would come next, to have everything in order.
Silence.
Wind blew slowly into the great hall.
Since last time, Atem had run image training every day for this one, and had readied himself.
He had checked the new cards thoroughly and built his deck.
This time he had decided he would not lose his composure.
He would recover his reason. Stand with dignity, as a king, and face him again.
But.
The instant he stood in front of Seto, that resolve crumbled, audibly and without resistance.
That figure, standing with the light behind him.
The white coat took the wind faintly, and its scent seemed to dissolve into the slightly cold air of the afterlife and brush at Atem's nose.
The brown hair swayed, soft. The blue eyes beneath it were like a clear lake, the thoughts hidden in their depths drawing ripples. Each time the light struck them, they shone like a moving surface of water. The depths of that lake ran deep, and an intelligence lived there that took the breath away.
"Atem. First turn is yours."
It was not only how he looked. That voice was poison too, Atem realized. A voice easy on the ear, echoing far back in it.
His face went hot.
"……"
If he spoke now, there was no telling what would come out. Atem's throat would not move.
He had forgotten even to breathe.
Still, he tried to draw a card. But his fingertips shook, and he could not raise the Duel Disk.
"…Lost your words again, have you."
Seto muttered it, low.
The voice alone reaching his ears made his heart leap painfully.
"What is it. This isn't like you, Atem."
Not provocation, not mockery.
A flat, level tone.
Which only tightened its grip on Atem's chest.
"That's… because you, Kaiba… turn up… looking like that."
The voice he finally forced out was shaking, and his eyes went restlessly back and forth between Seto and somewhere else entirely.
Seto blinked twice, and in the next moment the corner of his mouth lifted slightly.
He smiled.
That alone, and Atem's world seemed to stop like a painted wall.
The stone walls of the great hall were cold and lifeless. But the outline of the man standing beyond them shone like a sculpture that had gathered the light.
Only a smile. Only that.
Atem had been defeated, completely, by something.
The hand that finally rose was pressed over his mouth.
"So you had a weakness like this. Thoroughly outside my calculations."
"My… weakness…?"
"…Don't show that face to anyone else."
What kind of face was he making. He wanted to check, and was afraid to.
Seto looked amused. He was not angry.
"Next time I'd like an actual duel."
The route between the living world and the afterlife was already stable, so he could come at any time — he said something to that effect, and turned to go.
Once again, Atem could not remember precisely what he had been told.
The hem of the white coat swept around.
Only the same words as last time — "I'll come again" — went bounding around inside his head.
If he came to the afterlife next time, could Atem really fight? Seto recalled the state Atem had been in and let out a small breath.
Inwardly, he had an idea of the cause of that jitteriness. He had seen that sort of behavior before — more times than he could count.
But to think it was coming from that man, his rival of all people, brought a small smile to his face.
"Quite a thing, this…"
The small remark to himself dissolved into the wind of the afterlife.
At that back, Atem stood there, still without words.
Only, deep in his chest, a heat had been lit.
It was not the heat of defeat, nor of shame.
He wanted, without question, to see him again.
That thought alone was seared into him.
The wind stopped.
Atem could not look away.
The Seto in front of him was only standing there, and he was far too beautiful, and far too strong.
Clean skin. Hair that looked as though fingers would slide through it. A straight nose, well-shaped lips. And the real Seto's blue eyes, which memory alone could never fill in, however many times he tried to recall them.
Face, build, voice — all of it. Since their reunion, with every meeting, that figure seemed to gather more and more brightness.
His breathing went shallow. Only the sound of his heart carried.
"…What is it. Draw your card."
Seto's voice came down.
The usual level tone. But not now.
The tremor in that low register stroked at his eardrums.
He had run image training over and over, and instead of building any tolerance to Seto, he was getting worse each time they met.
Atem's throat moved. It did not become a voice.
He managed the draw, at least. The fingers holding the card he had chosen shook faintly.
That was as far as he could go.
"…I see. Understood. You still can't set it."
Seto took a step forward.
The air seemed to be pushed out of the way.
That alone, and Atem's reason gave a creak.
"Wh-what are you…"
The instant he barely forced the voice out, Seto's eyes pierced straight through him.
"I understand. Settle down. You can't manage a proper duel right now, can you?"
More dangerous than the words was the distance.
Seto studied Atem, who had frozen once again, at his leisure.
Atem's eyes went wide and he swallowed hard.
"So it is me, then."
If he was the one dismantling Atem's reason, then he would dismantle it to the end. Seto decided that much.
By then it was the look of a man hunting.
Seto walked all the way to stand directly in front of Atem, and his fingertips grazed past his cheek.
He had not actually been touched, and heat ran through him anyway.
"Those eyes of yours. They won't leave me, will they."
"……"
Silence.
Atem could say nothing.
There was no material anywhere with which to deny it.
Instead, a breath escaped him.
And his chin moved, slightly, downward.
Seto did not miss that instant.
A faint smile, and he whispered.
"That will do. If you can't fight, then look at me."
Every nerve in Atem obeyed the words.
The card was lowered quietly, and the duel was over.
But the outcome had already been decided.
The corridor beyond the great hall held only a faint light.
When the door to Atem's room opened, Seto stepped in once and stopped. His eyes went naturally to Atem's reddened ears, and to the shoulders locked rigid with tension.
Inside, Atem sat down in a chair, the agitation still on his face.
Seto said nothing, stood facing him, and let out a slight breath. Then he looked steadily into Atem's eyes.
That gaze was not merely gentle. It was full of certainty.
Atem's cheeks colored.
By this moment, within Seto, the duel had converted completely into a courtship.
For Seto, the match was beginning, with his reason fully mobilized.
For Atem, the match was over, his reason defeated.
"…So it wasn't a matter of duelling."
Atem nodded, head down, as though searching for words.
In that silence, Seto sat down at an angle to him.
The distance was not close. But the air did not move.
"I'm not blaming you for this. I'm watching something genuinely interesting. You will fight next time, however."
The voice was quiet, and carried a definite presence. Atem could not answer, and only let his lips tremble faintly.
"Calmed down at all?"
A quiet voice.
Atem raised his eyes. And the instant Seto's profile entered them, his breath caught again.
Reason could not keep up. The same impact as before came back in a different shape.
Seto glanced sideways at it and narrowed his eyes slightly.
"…Still not possible, it seems."
If duelling was out of the question, perhaps conversation was manageable.
Atem hurried to open his mouth.
"Th-that's not it…! You're — too beautiful……"
He shut his mouth, realizing he had said it, and it was already too late.
An eyebrow moved, very slightly. Seto's gaze turned quietly to Atem.
Deep in those eyes was a faint wry humor, and a gentleness close to resignation.
"Then there's nothing for it but to settle this here by another method."
"Another…"
Seto let out a small breath.
"I'll stay here."
Saying so, he moved to Atem's side, leaned back against the chair, and looked away.
The stillness that filled the room.
But it was neither cold nor hot — an extremely delicate balance, just before the heat.
I'll stay here.
At words that were only that much, the feeling Atem had held down so long overflowed all at once.
With a breath that did not become words, his body shook, slightly.
Seto touched his fingertips softly to Atem's shoulder and stroked it, his palm supporting.
"Eliminating a point of concern. There's no need to worry. I'm watching you."
In that moment, Atem put into language, and recognized, the feeling he had repeated so many times inside himself.
"…Kaiba, I…"
Even without words, his eyes and his whole body were turned toward Seto.
Seto let a light smile through and moved his fingertips to Atem's cheek.
"I know. Settle down. Eliminating one more point of concern — you are not alone anymore."
At that voice and the warmth of the hand, Atem nodded vaguely.
"…Atem. Do you accurately understand the current situation?"
Atem nodded slightly. He tried to open his mouth, and no words came.
His head and parts of his body still frozen, only the pounding in his chest carried.
In that state, from Seto's side, it was extremely doubtful whether he understood the situation at all.
Seto's hand slowly enclosed his shoulder, and he lowered his voice.
"Atem. I'll organize what we have so far."
"……Yeah."
Atem kept his eyes on the floor, his heart still beating hard.
Seto looked into his face and spoke quietly.
Atem could not raise his head, and only let out a small breath.
"First. You find my existence particularly, unbearably distracting."
Without a pause, Seto continued.
"And I do not regard you as merely an opponent. I have recognized that your existence is, more than something to fight, something to be understood."
"Understood…"
Atem repeated it under his breath.
"That was triggered by you showing an unforeseen reaction. That is also the reason."
"What… does that mean…?"
Seto's explanation, missing the one word that mattered, reached Atem in this state only at the level of the literal.
Seeing the uncomprehending face, Seto laid a hand on Atem's head.
"Right now, you are not you alone. You have become the two of us."
Seto went on, quietly.
"In short: you and I choose each other and accept each other. It is natural that we are in that relationship."
Atem's cheeks went hot. Being told in words, the unease and confusion deep in his heart dissolved, little by little.
"…Kaiba…"
Seto narrowed his eyes, composed.
Atem finally lifted his face. Surprise and agitation still remained in his eyes, but relief was mixed in there too, unmistakably.
Confirming that expression, Seto quietly reached out.
"From here on, take my hand. You may lean on me."
No words came to Atem. He only nodded, slightly.
The instant Seto's hand touched Atem's ear, the distance between them took on a definite temperature — one that words alone could not have produced.
"And you are, likewise, a special existence to me. I'm making that explicit here and now. Have you understood this far?"
"……I understand."
Atem's voice was small, but it certainly arrived.
Seto let a trace of a smile in, and without releasing the hand, looked into Atem's eyes.
"Good. That will do. Now you and I are facing the same direction."
Seto's mouth loosened faintly.
Into that expression — a commander on a battlefield, coolly organizing the situation — warmth and strength of will were mixed.
By defining the boundary in words, relief and elation mingled in Atem's heart. Understanding and trust had taken clearer form than any wordless exchange could give.
And so Atem's feelings took shape.
It was the moment the relationship was established, quietly, and beyond doubt.
Seto slid his hand slowly from Atem's ear to his shoulder, brought it around his back, and drew him in with a light arm.
Atem's body stiffened in spite of himself. The pounding of his heart had started again and would not stop.
"……Kaiba…?"
"Relax. I'm not doing anything yet. I'm only here."
Seto's voice was low and settled, and its temperature carried to the skin.
Atem let out a small breath in a voice mixed of surprise and confusion.
"……But, why…"
"Because I've seen something quite rare. …That it should be you, of all people. And that thing is contagious. I have no intention of letting it pass."
Seto ran his fingers through Atem's hair and touched his cheek, softly.
"That I am still here is in order to protect you, and in order to receive you."
Atem's eyes went wide.
Then he let out a slow sigh of relief.
"…Yeah… but, I…"
"You can stay as you are. Only lay your heart bare in front of me."
Atem nodded slightly, and let his body rest a little in the arms around him.
Seto took that, and let a faint smile through.
"Calmed down a little now?"
"…Yeah. A little."
They stayed like that for a while, quietly, feeling each other's warmth.
More than words, more than any action, Seto's presence enveloped Atem's heart completely and gave him an unshakable sense of safety.
When Seto brought his face slowly closer, Atem closed his eyes, and lips that trembled slightly moved naturally toward him.
So that part he's forward about. Seto laughed a little at that, inwardly, and touched them, softly.
No more words were needed. Their breathing, and each other's presence, synchronized quietly.
The lips parted, and Atem opened his eyes.
What came flooding in was a beauty that belonged neither to the living world nor to the afterlife.
And a sweet smile, turned toward him and no one else.
