Atem learns the phrase "life hacks" and begins posting them to the afterlife's social network.
Life Hack #1 is about borrowing Seto's shirts.
By afternoon it has two hundred million reposts, by the end of the week it is a Kaiba Corporation campaign, and by the end of the chapter the two of them are at UN Headquarters presenting love as a cost-reduction factor.
Seto has stopped opening the comment section.
This is a translation of an original work on Pixiv.
Original Title: 愛と理論 07 王、生活の知恵を広める
Original Author: 葉人(@Hathor_yuki)
Personal site: https://prideshipping.sakura.ne.jp
"The King's Domestic Power, Acquired on At-Home Dates. Apparently it's the most-read article in the afterlife."
The living room in the morning.
Atem had that magazine with the pink cover in hand and was laughing proudly.
"...I have nothing but a bad feeling about it, starting with the title."
Seto muttered it evenly while drinking his coffee.
But his eyes already carried the colour of resignation.
"The King Learns Laundry, He Comes to Know the Secrets of Cleaning, The Ideal Division of Labour, Learned from a Husband — truly fine articles, aren't they."
"What king is this."
"Me."
Atem said it with total confidence.
Seto let out a small sigh.
"And so, what did you learn?"
"The operation of the washing machine, and how to tell the varieties of fabric softener apart."
"...Remarkably pinpoint."
Atem nodded happily and opened the magazine.
There, the headline for the preview of the next issue.
[Next Issue Special]
From the Afterlife — Learning from the Mortal World!
What Skills Are Necessary in Married Life?
Interview cooperation: King Atem & Mr. Seto Kaiba
"...What is this."
"There's to be an interview, apparently."
"Atem... you consented?"
"Yes. It looked enjoyable."
Seto pressed at the space between his brows. But it was already too late.
Send Atem to an interview alone and there was no telling what would happen. Seto had no choice but to be dragged in.
Even knowing that it would end in waste.
Several days later, the shooting location.
"Today we'll be shooting on the theme of the image of the ideal married couple! First we'd like to ask Lord Atem for a housework scene..."
"Leave it to me. Laundry and cooking, I'll perform both perfectly."
"...Don't. Do you intend to cause another scientific disaster."
Seto cautioned him for form's sake. He was cautioning him, but expected no effect.
Atem put on an apron and took up the knife, looking delighted.
The angle of that knife was, as expected, already precarious.
Reflexively Seto drew near and laid a hand over his.
"The blade goes like this. Keep the angle constant."
"Mm, like this?"
"...That's it."
The camera flashes went off in succession.
The staff's eyes were sparkling.
"Ah, that just now was wonderful! A hands shot of a married couple that conveys love!"
"Don't photograph it."
"You can photograph more of it."
After the shoot, interview time.
"In daily life, which of you takes charge of the housework?"
"Seto, I'd say."
"...Wait. The one doing it is the housekeeper."
"He's deft with his hands, so dishwashing and laundry are both perfect. I'm still learning."
"I see, the King's posture of learning!"
"No, it's the result of considering efficiency."
"The efficiency of love, then."
"Be quiet."
"S-splendid...! The relationship between you two is so ideal..."
"When Seto is in a bad mood, I fold the laundry."
"Don't embellish."
"But it's a fact, isn't it?"
"...When have I ever been in a bad mood..."
Beside a reporter moved almost to the point of collapse, Seto understood, in his heart, that on this matter there was nothing left but to give up.
That night.
The shoot finished, the two of them home.
Atem sat on the sofa, gazing at the magazine's comps, looking satisfied.
"Seto. Your hands came out beautifully."
"Notice that at the point where my hands become advertising, something is already wrong."
"Next is apparently an ideal shared life special. The theme is A Couple Who Support Each Other."
"...Support each other, is it."
Taking off his coat, Seto smiled a little softly.
Seeing that smile, Atem suddenly came closer.
"Then it's my turn to support you now."
"If there's any reason for me to be supported by you, it's fatigue from the shoot alone."
"That's enough."
Saying so, Atem laid a hand lightly on Seto's shoulder.
With only the touch of fingertips, a wordless trust flowed in.
The magazine with the pink cover was to sell out as one more legendary issue.
But the parties in question were only, quietly, laughing.
"...I've learned the phrase life hacks."
Morning, the living room.
Gnawing on toast, the usual pink-covered magazine in one hand, Atem declared it grandly.
Seto closed the news and lifted his face.
"I have nothing but a bad feeling about this, but I'll hear you out for form's sake. What are life hacks?"
"Contrivances that make living better."
"I see... you appear to understand it."
"I am currently disseminating them."
"...What did you say?"
Before Seto had finished asking, Atem held up an afterlife-specification tablet.
On the screen, the timeline of the afterlife's social network, Nefer-Link.
There, posts were lined up, shining brilliantly.
The King's Life Hack #1: When you don't want to increase the laundry, it's good to borrow one of Seto's shirts.
The King's Life Hack #2: Coffee is best when brewed by the hands of the one you love. Theoretically, it also tastes better.
The King's Life Hack #3: When your housemate gets argumentative, embrace him and silence him.
"............"
"In the afterlife they're well received."
"That is no longer a life hack. It's a simple exposure of our life."
"But they're useful, aren't they?"
"To whom."
Atem laughed, looking satisfied, and loosed a follow-up strike.
"I tried disseminating them to the world as well."
"Stop."
He said it, but as usual it was already too late.
That afternoon.
Kaiba Corporation's public relations department was in an uproar.
"President...! The global trend is #TheKingsLifeHacks!"
"The King means that Mr. Atem! Borrow the president's shirt has been reposted two hundred million times!"
Without a word, Seto closed the display.
Beside him, Atem was elegantly drinking herbal tea.
"Remarkable. The people of the mortal world and the people of the afterlife both appear to be seeking wisdom."
"What you're disseminating isn't wisdom, it's my private life."
"Wrong. It's our wisdom."
"Don't correct it."
Night.
"Any reflection?"
At the question, Atem shook his head at once.
"I'm in the middle of editing Life Hack #4."
"Stop it already."
"Would it be better classified under romance hacks?"
"It's getting worse."
Seto pressed at his head, but Atem continued with a serious face.
"But, Seto. Wisdom only becomes wisdom once it's shared, doesn't it?"
"Well, as reasoning that's correct."
"Then my conduct is justified."
"...You're using reasoning wrong."
Atem set down the herbal tea and suddenly turned a gentle look on him.
"To the afterlife and the mortal world both, I want to convey the wisdom of living our days together. For us, simply showing it should be enough, shouldn't it?"
Seto was silent a little, and let out a low breath.
"...An unusually creditable defence, for you."
"I'll take that as praise."
"But if you post so much as my sleepwear next time... I'll buy out Afterlife Communications."
Atem laughed out loud.
That laugh rang softly in the quiet of the night.
Several hours later.
The King's Life Hack #5: When you have no time to choose your sleepwear, it's good to let the genius beside you choose. Because his taste is good.
Nefer-Link, out of the afterlife, blew up once again and set a new record at number one in the mortal world's trends.
Seto no longer opens the comment section.
"......And?"
Seto folded his arms and looked down at the report materials.
The public relations director answered in a trembling voice.
"#TheKingsLifeHacks is... number one in the world trends overnight. The purchase intent index is at three hundred twenty percent of normal...!"
"Absurd."
"B-but... if we turn this into a campaign, it will certainly generate revenue!"
Silence.
While the PR staff held their breath, Seto flicked at the data with a fingertip.
"...Hmph. Interesting. Then we do it thoroughly."
"P-President!?"
"This sort of frenzy is transient. But process it theoretically and permanent brand formation is possible."
When he turned around at that, Atem was standing there with herbal tea in hand.
"You intend to use my life hacks for commerce?"
"They were originally your exposure. Take responsibility and work."
"Responsibility...?"
"That's right. We make The King's Life Hacks an official campaign. You are the face of it."
After being struck dumb, Atem slowly laughed.
"I see. So it's a partnership, then."
"Wrong. By now it's a conspiracy."
Campaign preparation meeting
"The theme is A Life with Love and Theory."
"Don't use abstractions like that. Consumers want the practical."
"But people move by emotion, you know."
"Then we structure it to move emotion by reasoning."
"...You bring marketing theory into romance as well?"
"I am always conscious of ROI."
"Is that how you talked me into it?"
"...Don't worry. You came in above the theory."
The conference room fell silent for several seconds, and the PR staff wept discreetly with emotion. (The record preserves a moment that gets misread as: here the president became flustered.)
Campaign launch
Advertising video title: The King's Life Hacks, by Kaiba Corporation
Subtitle: "Even a love that reasoning can't explain can be structured."
Scene 1:
Atem, in an apron, brews tea.
Narration:
"To deepen thought, a moderate amount of sugar and love is required."
Scene 2:
Seto accepts that tea and, while operating a terminal, says one thing.
"This data is too sweet."
Atem answers, laughing. "But you'll drink it."
It was broadcast simultaneously in the afterlife and the mortal world, and became explosively popular.
Among high officials in the afterlife and among management-class couples in the mortal world, intellectual romance came into fashion.
Several days later.
"President, sales... they've jumped!"
"Heh, it seems my wisdom was of use."
"My brand turned a profit, that's all."
"Which is to say, our achievement."
"Don't set verbal traps."
Atem laughed and looked over the materials in his hands.
"Seto, next let's put out Life Hacks: On the Extension of Love."
"Dangerous, starting with the title. But... the probability that it sells is high."
"Which is to say, you'll do it?"
"Theoretically, I can't deny it."
That night.
A news bulletin ran.
[BREAKING] Kaiba Corporation's The King's Life Hacks campaign a global hit — case presentation confirmed at the UN economic conference as The Men Who Sell with Reason and Love.
"...Seto, this is beyond the frame of commerce."
"Yes. But with you, we can go beyond the limits of statistics."
"Proof that love and theory both hold at the same time?"
"We are the evidence."
Quietly, fingers touch.
An intellectual romance straddling the afterlife and the mortal world.
The world blesses it, and the parties in question drink herbal tea with cool faces.
United Nations Economic Conference, Special Lecture
Crossing the Boundary Line Between Love and Logic.
New York. UN Headquarters, special hall.
While the delegations of the nations of the world stirred, the title projected on the screen made that stir grow louder still.
"Love & Logic in the Postmodern Economy"
―Presented by KAIBA Corp. × Pharaoh Atem.
"...This isn't a joke, is it."
The chair murmured it.
"A king, and the CEO of the world's largest corporation, are going to speak on love as an economic theme?"
"Indeed. To think an age would come when love became an economic indicator."
"...And what is the afterlife...?"
The lights go down.
Within a spotlight of red and gold, Atem quietly took the platform.
His voice, speaking without a microphone, reached every point in the hall.
"In my country, once, the circulation of wealth and power supported order. But no system moves without love."
The interpreter stopped for an instant.
He appeared to be at a loss as to how the single word love should be translated.
Atem smiled.
"Love is a logic premised on the existence of another. Economics is the principle of exchange. Therefore, an economy without love is a bird with one wing."
The hall fell silent.
Atem continued.
"According to Seto Kaiba, efficiency is justice. But behind efficiency there is always someone's time. To honour that time is the essence of life hacks."
Applause.
A beat late, the translation runs.
And then the headlines of news sites all over the world were updated.
"The Pharaoh Defines Love as Logic of Coexistence."
King Defines Love by Logic.
Next Seto stood on the platform.
In a black suit, within the cold lighting, he cut straight to it.
"First, I thought that speaking of love was unscientific. But this man is a rare being who tries to explain the unscientific by logic."
"Mm? Which is to say, you understood."
"No. I merely judged that it was worth the value of understanding."
The hall was wrapped in laughter.
Seto switched the slide.
What was displayed was a graph of the economic effect of love, calculated by Kaiba Corporation's AI.
Decision-making with love as its axis → team efficiency up 147%
A competitive environment lacking love → turnover rate up 380%
"Which is to say, love is a cost-reduction factor."
The hall roared with laughter.
Letting out a sigh, Atem smiled.
"You really do prefer numbers to romance."
"There's only your romance behind the numbers."
This exchange went straight into the trends as the Seto Kaiba × Atem Lecture Series.
Time was taken for questions as well.
"A question. Is the relationship between the two of you classified as an economic partnership?"
"It isn't a thing that can be classified."
"There's no meaning in classifying it either."
"But it's a relationship optimised to each other."
"As a contract, it's perfect as well."
The hall, for some reason, gave a standing ovation.
Outside the hall was in an uproar as well.
The press came pressing in.
"President Kaiba, Your Majesty! Your ideal relationship, in a single phrase!"
"An extension of joint research."
says Atem.
"An experiment with no end."
is what Seto says.
"And love?"
"The terminal point of theory."
The two answered at the same time.
Night, on the plane home.
Atem laughed calmly.
"Seto, your talk will probably become a topic in the afterlife too."
"Don't spread it as you please."
"But love is a cost-reduction factor is a fine line."
"...Have it corrected. Love is a factor that maximizes ROI."
"Honestly, no romance in you at all."
"You can supply that."
Their gazes crossed.
Beneath the night sky, the figures of the two reflected in the window
were like the very pair of wheels named reason and passion.
